Try out the ‘Dating’ Theme in the Thinkladder app here:
Actively looking for someone special to spend our lives with is a process that is filled with so many different emotions; we can feel so full of excitement, hope, nerves, anxiety, self-doubt, confusion, and joy. Along with these feelings, dating can also trigger within us painful wounds and memories from past relationships.
As we navigate this complicated process, one way that we can support ourselves and gain clarity is to identify limiting beliefs we hold around dating. These might be something like, ‘I’m not attractive enough for anyone to want to date me,’ or ‘I will always feel too nervous and anxious to enjoy a date.’ Once we’ve pinpointed these beliefs, we can then go about reframing them in ways that better support our confidence and ability to make helpful decisions.
If you’re currently on the dating scene, Thinkladder has created a ‘Dating’ theme specifically designed to help you rewrite those limiting beliefs and better enjoy your dating experience.
Insights from the ‘Dating’ Theme
I am creating healthy boundaries and taking breaks when needed to protect my mental well-being when using dating apps.
Practical tips for when you are dating:
Cultivate your interests: Engaging in hobbies and interests makes you a more well-rounded person and boosts your confidence. It can also be a great way to meet like-minded people, whether that’s through classes, meetups, or online communities. Doing things you love also reminds you that you are a complete person with your own interests, regardless of whether you are in a relationship.
Set boundaries: Know your limits and be willing to communicate them to potential partners. Boundaries can be emotional, physical, or even related to your time and money. They are crucial for maintaining self-respect and ensuring healthy interactions; remember, how someone respects and supports you in your boundaries is often a glimpse into their character.
Dress for confidence: Wear clothes that make you feel good about yourself but also comfortable. Uncomfortable clothing will take away from relaxing and enjoying the date. Your appearance isn’t the most important part of who you are, but feeling confident in how you look can give you a boost.
Practice your communication: Being able to communicate effectively is key in dating. With a trusted person, practise active listening, clear articulation of your thoughts and feelings, and non-verbal communication skills such as eye contact and body language. You are also likely to introduce yourself with similar topics as you meet new people. Practise talking about who you are, your family, your career, and your interests in ways that are authentic but appropriate for the early stage of a relationship.
Don’t forget the basics:
Self-care and balance: Ensure you’re eating well, getting enough sleep, and exercising regularly. This balance helps you feel your best both physically and mentally, enabling you to put your best foot forward and deal with any stress that might arise. Have regular activities that you do for yourself, such as reading, going for a nature walk, or pursuing a creative outlet. These activities recharge your batteries and can help keep you centred.
Manage stress: Use stress management techniques such as meditation, yoga, or deep breathing exercises. Reducing stress improves your mood and allows you to show up as your best self when you’re dating. Remember though that if dating is becoming more stressful than fun, you are always allowed to take a break to focus on other parts of your life and relationships for a while.
Pursue personal growth: Take the time to reflect and work on personal development. There are counsellors and resources that can help you deal with any pain and grow in self-awareness. Understanding yourself and identifying things like your deepest values, how you relate to others, and what you want out of life is vital knowledge when dating and considering a potential partner. The Thinkladder app can help you gain understanding of your feelings and beliefs so you can approach dating with greater self-awareness and confidence.
Keep a positive social circle: Surround yourself with friends and family who support you and make you feel good about yourself. A positive support system can offer advice, encouragement, and a listening ear when you need it. Finding a romantic partner doesn’t take away the importance of the other valuable relationships in your life.
Be safe and make a plan:
- Tell a friend where you are and who you are with, and text them when you are home.
- Meet in a public place, sufficiently away from where you live.
- Don’t reveal personal details, like your address or the location of your work.
- Stick to your boundaries, including ones you set for that date, like the evening’s budget or time you need to be home.
- Be alert and trust your instincts if something doesn’t feel right.
- Remember that you don’t owe this person anything, even if they pay for the meal/activity. You are free to leave at any time, and you don’t have to see them again if you don’t want to, even if you feel pressure to agree to it while on the date.
Related topics: People Pleasing, Self-Worth, Anxiety & Comparing Myself To Others.