Try out the People Pleasing Theme on the Thinkladder app here:
It’s only natural that we want others to be happy with us. Going out of our way for others often results in warm feelings of altruism, as well as gratitude or reciprocal actions from others. However, if we find ourselves constantly disregarding our own needs for the sake of others, we may have an issue with people-pleasing.
Chronic people-pleasing can drain our resources and sense of self. It can also leave us feeling empty or bitter when our sacrifices don’t get the gratitude we feel they deserve. If we want to have more control over our people-pleasing ways, identifying limiting beliefs that are feeding this behaviour is an excellent place to start. These could be something like, ‘If people aren’t happy with me, something is terribly wrong’, or ‘If I was a kind and caring person, I would never upset anyone.’
Once we have pinpointed the beliefs underlying our desire to please others, we can challenge them with insights that remind us of our worth, even when we’re not making anyone else happy.
Check out the ‘People Pleasing’ theme in the Thinkladder App if you want to take step in addressing this issue today.
Insights from the People Pleasing Theme
‘No’ to others is ‘yes’ to myself, and this is necessary sometimes.
I have permission to look after my own well-being first.
Trying to keep everyone happy all the time places my own mental health at risk.
I was taught to keep everyone happy, but I have to relearn healthier ways of relating to others.
Validating my needs honours my humanity and empowers my soul.
‘No’ to others is ‘yes’ to myself, and this is necessary sometimes.
Practical tips for people pleasers:
Identify your own needs: Take some time to identify your own needs and values. This can help you prioritise what’s important to you, and make decisions based on your own needs, rather than what others expect of you.
Set boundaries: Learn to say no when you need to. It’s okay to prioritise your own needs and interests, and you don’t need to please everyone all the time.
Practice assertiveness: Assertiveness is a communication skill that involves standing up for your own needs and expressing your thoughts and feelings clearly and respectfully. Practise being assertive in your interactions with others.
Put time aside for self-care: Prioritise self-care activities, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time with loved ones. This can help you feel more grounded and confident in your interactions with others.
Seek support: Surround yourself with supportive people who can provide constructive feedback. Consider talking to a therapist or counsellor who can help you identify and address underlying issues that may be contributing to your people-pleasing behaviour.
Challenge your beliefs: There are a plethora of limiting beliefs that can contribute to people-pleasing behaviours. For example, people pleasers often believe that others will only value them if they do everything they ask. Healthy relationships, however, are a two-way street and rely on mutual respect and understanding. Thinkladder can assist you in challenging assumed beliefs and finding new, empowering insights to assist you in kicking people-pleasing behaviours to the curb.
